So here we are in the house we’ve rented. It’s very small, but it’s got it’s own hearth, a table, and two whole rooms, so it seems like a palace to us. The village is OK too, and we’ve all found some work so none of us have been in a hurry to leave. Fuu’s been talking about making a stew or something, cuz there was a cauldron left in the hearth and she got it all cleaned up. It’s fun to see her all housewifey and stuff, so I told her I’d meet her in the market after work and help her lug food back to cook. I stopped to take a leak on the way, so she went up ahead. As I walk up to the door I bump into Jin who’s backing out for some damn reason.
“Hey, watch it!” I call. He mumbles something, giving me a quick look before taking off, and I stare after him with my mouth hanging open. He’s totally blushing! I’ve never seen him so red. You’d think with his fair skin, Jin would blush every second, but he doesn’t. He hardly blushes at all. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him blush like this before.
I’m torn. I want to go after him but I’ve got an armful of food, so I decide to dump my share of the vegetables and try to find out what’s up. I go inside and put what I’m carrying on the table. The stuff Fuu had was scattered all over and then I understand. I blush too—at least, I felt like I did.
There on the table with all the other food were three of those long green veggie things. I don’t know what they are—squashes, cukes, who cares? They look really obscene, no wonder Jin was freaked out. Even though my head is starting to swim and my cock is starting to twitch, I try to keep thinking. I check ‘em all out. Two are too thick but one is perfect, it looks like a longer version of him, actually. Fuu turns to the hearth and starts poking at the fire she’s gotten started, so I grab the good one, shove it up my shirt and get the hell outta there before she sees me.
“Mugen, will you bring water now please?” she yells.
“Yeah, yeah,” I yell back and scramble to find a place to put the thing so it won’t rot on me before I have a chance to use it. I find somewhere cool and hide it, then head to the spring. I need time to think before I hunt him down anyway. I bring her the water and ask if she wants me to help her chop ‘n stuff.
“Oh no, you go on. I love to cook and I haven’t had a chance to in a long time. Go away. It will be ready later tonight,” she insists, so I let her shove me out the door. I try to find him but we’ve only been here a few days and I don’t know the area yet, so I’ve got no idea where he might be hiding. I hit the spring again hoping he’s taking a bath, but he’s not there, then wander around for a while before heading back. I find his whetstone and decide to sharpen my sword outside the door and wait for him, figuring he isn’t gonna take off all night cuz he knows Fuu is cooking something. I finally hear him coming down the road, and I look up when he stops in front of me.
“I’ve told my employer I won’t be in tomorrow,” he says quietly.
“Good,” I answer. He nods slightly and walks into the house. I smile to myself and stop what I’m doing. My hands are shaking too much and I don’t want to fuck up my sword.
“Soup’s on!” Fuu yells from inside the house. I take a deep breath, pull my gi around me to hide my hard-on and go in to eat.
When I wake up they’re both gone. I’m not surprised. They’re both always asleep before me and awake before me. One of the best things in my life now is being able to watch Jin and Fuu sleep. Fuu looks like she’s a little kid and Jin—well he looks like an angel. The frown that’s always on his face when he’s awake is gone when he’s asleep, so he looks fucking beautiful. I sit up at night and watch them both, and ask whoever’s listening to keep them safe—to keep us together.
Well anyway, he’s gone now but I know he’ll be back soon. He’s never stood me up when we agree to blow off work and have the day together. I run and get The Thing and put it on the futon. I want to see if he’ll blush again—I just can’t help myself. I pace for awhile and then I hear the door slide open in the outer room. He walks in, sees our new toy and he does blush again. I feel triumphant!
He slowly sinks to his knees next to it. “Ah Mugen, I don’t know if I can do this,” he says as he shakes his head. “It’s too…humiliating. The idea of that……there.” He groans and puts his face in his hands.
“I’ll split. You can do it alone,” I say, not that I think he’ll go for it. He shakes his head again, sighing this time, his hands falling to his lap.
“No, I’m not going to fight against my training. I want you here anyway.” He gave me such a smoldering look my stomach did a flip, but then he turned back to the cuke. He just stared and stared, and I started to feel him go away, off into his head. He seemed totally mesmerized by the sight of it lying there, and I was kicking myself in the ass for doing that to him—for shoving it in his face like that just to embarrass him. I finally move it out of his line of sight, kneel behind him and start rubbing his shoulders.
“Hey, don’t go away,” I say. “We don’t have to use it. We don’t have to do anything different today.” He’s still stuck, so I pull his face up into a kiss, and after a while I feel him start to come back. What a relief! When he’s really responding to me I stop, drag him onto the futon and we get all his damn clothes off. Then I shuck my own, sit on his hips and start kissing him again. I’m not sure my tried and true way to get him horny will work after I fucked up so bad and freaked him out, but it does, thank god. I kiss him til we're both moaning. And when his hands start kneading my ass and he grinds his cock into my own, I feel like he’s ready for more.
I get off him, pass by my usual play spots and head straight for his ass. He’s got no cheeks to speak of, but what’s there I spread and make room to get my tongue in. He practically squeaks when I do and I couldn’t keep from laughing, it sounded so…well, un-Jin like. I tease and slurp and nip and play, kinda amazed at myself that I haven’t done this to him much before. It takes a little while before the tension in his legs and belly ease off and he starts to melt, but soon he’s sighing and moaning. Sweet! I want him totally focused here, on how good it can feel to have someone paying attention to this very sensitive place.
I reach for the oil and back away a bit, tickling him with my fingers now instead of my tongue, and he doesn’t even tense. I realize if I’m going to pull this off I need to move, so I reposition myself between his legs and lay my head on his belly. I have this feeling I need to keep my eyes off his face—that it will be easier for him if I don’t look at him. So I slide my arm around his waist and keep his cock company while I slip two fingers inside. He moans and arches into my hand. I purr. This is good. I could spend all day doing this to him it makes me so hot.
Every time we get together I’m blown away by how Jin lets himself respond to me. He’s silent as stone when he’s vertical, but when I get him horizontal he doesn’t hold back at all. He’s really vocal and it’s totally gratifying. Anyway, he’s getting pretty vocal at this point. Maybe it’s because I’ve got three fingers in him now and he’s still having a good time. His cock is drooling all over his belly and I figure it’s now or never. I slide my fingers out, grab a handful of oil and slather the cuke, pressing it into him real slow.
“It sounds strange,” I whisper, “but if you try to push it out, it will go in easier.” He takes a deep breath and we manage to get an inch or so in before I feel him tense. I stop and brace it against my knee. “I’m not gonna push anymore. You need to…um…climb onto it yourself now, OK? I’ll just hold it here.”
He grabs my head and directs me to suck on him. I’m happy to do it, but I don’t think it’s gonna help him much. That kind of thing always makes me clench inside, which can work against what we’re trying to do, but I figure it’s his call. I get to work, and after a little while he grunts, breaks into a sweat and loses his hard-on.
I stop what I’m doing and raise my head. “Hey, slow down.” I look at his face for the first time since we started and he opens his eyes and gives me a wry smile. I stroke his thighs and give his knee a smooch. “There’s no reason to hurry. Take it easy on yourself, K?”
“OK,” he whispers, closing his eyes as I keep stroking what I can reach, not surprised he doesn’t ask me to go down on him again.
“If you can get past these muscles, I promise it will feel great. It will be worth it,” I say. He’s motionless for quite some time. Then he takes a long deep breath and I can feel him trying again. I get worried cuz he seems to be moving too fast, but all of a sudden it’s in! I can tell cuz his eyes open wide and he gasps.
“Hot damn!” I crow, “You did it!” He looks at me with the greatest expression. A I-can’t-believe-you-were-right-it-does-feel-better-and-I-think-you’re-hot expression. I’ve seen the look of lust in mens’ faces my entire life, but he’s looking at me like he likes me, like he’s happy we got here together. No one I had a thing for in the past ever looked at me like that. I want to memorize everything about this moment. I can’t believe I’m doing this to him—that he wanted me to do it—and that he’s getting off on it so much. I’ve never done it before, I’ve never been inside a seme of mine in any way. I never got invited to and I never expected to be. Getting fucked was always my job.
So here I am fucking the best thing that’s ever happened in my life and he’s glad about it! It’s just too goddamn amazing. We’re looking at each other and I feel myself choke up for a second, I’m so blown away by his expression and the feelings he’s giving off. I figure if he’s happy now he’s only gonna get happier. That gets me really excited.
“You look like you’re sitting on the biggest secret,” he says.
I raise my eyebrows. “Oh, I am,” I smile. I’ve been waiting for his body to get used to everything so I can do what I want to do next, and it feels so wicked to be doing it I’m shivering. “I want to show you why I beg you for everything you’ve got. You ready?” He nods. I grab hold of the last few inches of the cuke, look him straight in the eye, and push it in nice and slow. He starts singing after the first inch, but I’ve got four or five to go before the cuke gets to his own length. By the time I get it all in, his back is arched, he’s hugging himself and he’s really singing.
Oh man, I’m dying, it makes me so hot. When he gets all of himself inside me it feels like he’s fucking my heart or something, so I want him to feel like that too. I slowly stroke the last few inches into him just like he does to me, and he’s moaning in time to my thrusts. One thing about a cuke, I realize, is that it’s never gonna cum. I could do this to him all day and never lose my hard-on, so to speak. It seems so fucking perverted I love it. I make bets with myself how long I can keep doing this before he starts begging me to bring him off.
I start pulling it further out of him now—as far as I can without going past those muscles. I slowly stroke it in him and I get hypnotized by the sight. My own need to cum is getting pretty intense at this point. Watching it move in and out, hearing his responses, I’m so goddamn horny I can hardly breathe. I’m so into what I’m doing, I don’t notice he’s rousing.
“M-Mugen,” he gasps. “Stop. Stop…or I’m going to cum.”
“That’s the idea, huh?” I slow down some, but I don’t want to stop.
“No, no. Stop dammit!” He grabs my hair. He’s got to yank it pretty hard to get me to pay attention, so it hurts and I yelp.
He’s up on his elbow, panting, looking at me with his eyes on fire. “Fuck me,” he demands. That knocks me on my ass. I’m speechless. I just stare at him with my mouth open. “Fuck me, Mugen,” he repeats.
I can’t believe this is happening—I can’t believe what just came out of his mouth, but I try to think. I know I’m not gonna push myself into him, so I lay down on my back, mostly in a trance. “That thing’s only opened you up part way, but if you can get me inside you, I’ll fuck your goddam brains out…if I can manage to stay hard that long.”
He oils me up and straddles my hips, pulls out the cuke and starts trying to impale himself. He gets an inch or so in and then meets that inner barrier. I can feel it, so fucking tight against the head of my cock. I don’t really know if I can keep from cumming long enough for him to do this, or if he can manage to get me in at all. I can only grit my teeth and hope for the best, I guess.
He leans forward and settles himself on top of me. I can feel him breathing against my hair. Then it was the coolest thing. His body went all limp and he got completely still. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. His entire being got totally quiet. His breathing was so deep and slow I could barely sense it but, at every exhale, he swallowed me a little bit more. It was excruciating, I tell ya. It took every ounce of my willpower not to grab his hips and ram myself inside him I was so fucking horny.
Then I start to realize I’m getting freaked out. I never fucked a guy I cared about in my life. If I had a ryu for every time I heard, “You ain’t getting that thing anywhere near my ass, Mugen,” I’d be rich. Women take one look and they’re all over me, but guys, never, except for a few dipshits I couldn’t stand anyway. I don’t know what to do with how I feel. Jin’s got power over me like no one I’ve ever been with, and here he is working—and succeeding, it feels like—to get my cock up his ass. I’m confused. I’m blown away. I’m scared. I’m feeling so happy I want to jump up and down and yell, so it’s really hard to just lay there and let him work.
My head is swimming with all these competing thoughts, and the tightness of his ass around me is making me need to think of horrible things so I won’t cum, it’s so intense. Then, all of a sudden, I feel a pop and the pressure eases. I’m in! He fucking did it! He moans and I laugh. I can’t get that this is really happening. I can feel him slowly reanimate his body, then he raises himself up on his hands, smiles at me, and slides me all the way in. I scream it feels so good. He lies back on my chest again, but now he’s trembling, so I put my arms around him and hug him close. I can feel his body getting used to me being in there, and every sensation is blowing my mind. I’m gonna lose it real soon, especially now that he’s started to move on me.
“I’m close,” I warn him. “Can’t hold out much longer.”
“Me too,” he pants. “Don’t worry.” I hold onto his hips and rise to meet him as he grinds into me. Somewhere in my head it dawns on me I should help him out, so I grab his cock. He cums a few seconds later, and that sets me off too. I cum deep inside him and it feels sooo good, and makes me feel so close to him. I can’t believe he wanted to do this so bad he went through what he went through to do it. I can’t believe he wanted me that much.
My heart is so mushed out I fucking start to cry. Goddammit! I put my arm over my face so he won’t see, I feel like such a wuss. I feel like he’ll despise me if he knows. He pulls my arm away and leans in to catch a few tears with his tongue, then kisses me long and hard. After, he lays back down on my chest.
“I love you, too,” he whispers.
Man, that doesn’t make it any better. I really start crying then. I cry my fucking ass off. He slides his arms around my shoulders and holds me as I sob like a goddamn woman. I don’t even know why I’m crying, but it takes a long time before I can make myself stop. When I finally do he’s still there, he’s still holding me. I can feel that he's with me—that he’s witnessing but not judging me at all—and something deep inside me exhales in relief. He raises his head and kisses me again, and I cling to him like a drowning man. I don’t let him go for a long time, and he doesn’t try to shove me away.
When I feel mostly normal I push him back so I can look at his face. “Sorry I lost it. You must think I’m a wuss.”
He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Mugen, you are the farthest thing from a wuss I have ever known.” After a few moments, he adds softly, “I was very touched. Thank you.” He’s looking at me in that I-like-you way again and I try to let myself believe it. I try to ignore the voices that tell me the good stuff is for everyone else, but not for me. “We’ll do it again tomorrow,” he decides.
Say what?!? “Yeah right! You’re fucking crazy!” I laugh, maybe a little hysterically. He did not just say that! I’m freaking out again.
He gives me a puzzled look. “Is that a no?” he asks.
”Well yeah…I mean no…I mean I can’t believe you want to. You don’t really, right?” I’m totally confused. “No guy wants me to fuck him. No one wants my cock in them.”
“I do.” He looks like he finds me amusing.
“Why, goddammit?” I still can’t figure this out.
“Because I liked it. It was the most amazing feeling I’ve ever experienced and I would like to feel it again. And since I don’t want to lose the ground we’ve gained, I want to do it again soon. Do you understand now?”
“But no one likes me fucking them,” I insist. I’m just dense I guess.
“Mugen, where is this written in parchment? Can’t I have my own experience?” he asks, and then with more force, “I want you to fuck me again tomorrow and if you don’t I’ll kick your skinny ass across the room and back. Do you understand that?”
That I understand.
“OK, OK, if you insist. But you’re the one with the skinny ass.” He slugs my shoulder. It doesn’t hurt. I still can’t fucking believe it, but I’m secretly happy as all get-out. Maybe, just maybe, I could learn to live with this.
now,” he says, wincing, “if I don’t get up, I fear
my knees will never unbend again.” He falls over on his side
on the futon and groans as he stretches his legs out. I realize my
back is kinda aching too, so I sit up and stretch, and wait for him
to get the blood flowing in his legs again. He’s on his back,
and I lean over to kiss him, a soft and quiet one this time. We’re
both wiped on our asses. When we stop, he grabs my hand and turns on
his other side, pulling me into a spoon against his back the way we
”Think we have time for a snooze?” I ask.
“Mmmm,” is his response. I feel his body relaxing and his mind taking off, take that for a yes and let myself drift away too. He said he loved me. I know I love him too. Maybe I’ll even be able to say it out loud one day. Sometimes life is really good.